


Tokyo Pool

by Ceileice



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Waterpark, Kaneki suffers more, Pool AU, Wait why are Togami and Killua here? idk, Waterpark, pools
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5404100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceileice/pseuds/Ceileice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's like Tokyo Ghoul... but with pools."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tokyo Pool

**Author's Note:**

> sigh~* am sorry for the lack of FF...~* I was without internet and as you know the library is not the best place to write smut...~* please take this which I made from the bottom of my heart as an apology and pray for your sins tonight because this is a very sinful work~*~*~*~* okay~*~*~*?

Kaneki was on his way.

On his way to where?

To Tokyo's biggest water park. The world biggest water park. The universe's best. A true creation of ... Gaude.

Also known as... Tokyo Pool.

Kaneki pulled out his smartphone which he had conveniently tucked into his inner tube, right beside his aqua socks which were also taped to his ass kind of.

"On my way to fuck YO bitch" he tweeted on Facebook.

Nobody liked his post.

He wasn't sad, though. He wouldn't let that shit let him down. He had come this far.

This far, to the Tokyo Pool(s).

"Well that grammar fucking sucks, but who cares I'm here to end my suffering anyway." Kanekels thought.

"Um sir, you need a membership to enter. You can't just enter for free." a voice called out as Kaneki tried but failed to low-key enter the park.

Kaneki whipped his head like Shafuto Kakudo (Shaft Angle, or more preferably, SHAFT Head-tilt). He could see the person.. IT was.... HIDEYOSHI.

"Uck," he secretly thought, "dats my ex."

Anyway, he ignored his ass... Bye Felicia, he thought.

Hide was sad. He was only paid 2 cents an hour for his hard labor.

Kanekels entered the water park. He saw pools. Omg there were lots of pools.

Then he said, ">mfw when you see DEM POOLS."

"Who the FUCK says greentext stories out loud, in real life." a new voice called out. Was it Hide? It certainly wasn't Hide. "Fucking Nerd."

Kaneki didn't do a shaft head tilt this time tho. No time for that shit.

He said, "Wut,"

It just so turned out that it was Byakuya Togami. Dafuq is he doing here? 

Kaneki was sad though.

"Dude you have money." he mourned and walked away. Togaymi was blocked. Blocked.

After he was quite a distance away from that rich bastard- curse him, he checked his MLG gear. 

Snorkeling gear; check. Aqua socks, check. Hello Kitty inner tube? check. NERF water gun? Check. Spiderman swimming trunks complete with pockets to hold your MTN Dew? Fucking yes definitely check. Flippers? yes because we all know Kaneki can't fcuking swim.

His gear was good. All +10 amplified and refined. No scrubs could top his suffering. He was ready for the Pools.

But then...

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

Kaneki looked ahead of him to find the source of the voice. His face contorted.

He regretted it.

In the pool just before him, there was a screaming horde of fangals 'n gays tackling their bae. The person who owns the park. The richest mofo. Papi.

Fucking Tsukiyama Shuu.

"What fuck...?" Kaneki blurted out.

Tsukiyama was about to gracefully front flip into this pool. He was wearing a speedo. His fans were screaming and trying to touch the booty - his Whoremony. Oh my god.

Kaneki wanted to gouge his eyes out. 

"Umm... I think I'll-"

"Oh MY GOD IT'S KANEKI!" Tsuki-fucker screamed in his deliciously assy voice. Like the round buttcheeks of a plum.

Kaneki screamed in lowercase "aaaaaaaaaaaa" as that bastard parted the waters like fucking Moses and shit and ran to him. His fans screamed in dismay cause he was going for some fucking Normie.

"KANEKI BAABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Kanekis legs shivered, god why was that bastard here.

"COME TO PAPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"

Kaneki lifted his nerf gun he pulled from between the fatrolls on his belly and began to chant "You're a kid, you're a squid" to his Gaude for protection from the unholy papi Tsukiyama. "FIX IT JESUS."

Tsukiyama began to screech in displeasure. "JESUS" was a naughty word in his gluten free bible. As kanekels squirted chlorine-free freshwater at his head like fucking headshot BITCH, he repeatedly did fuckngi shaft headtilt as it was damaging his brains.

Butt then...

"NOBODY HURTS MY PAPI!"

-?!

Somebody front flipped into the scene. Right between Kanekels and the dying tsukibastard. Taking the shots of stinky freshwater for their papi.

It was none other than Killua Zoldyck, and he was wearing Minion patterned swimming trunks.

"What the fuck-" a bird was about to say but Killua interrupted.

"I... WILL FIGHT FOR MY DADDY."

Kanekels stopped shotting. "ok..." he said emo-ly.

"Wait, what. That's it?" Killua fucking blinked.

"Well... I mean," Kaneki began, "I don't want to associate myself with someone who is part of the Minion fandom... That's the fucking plague."

"WHAT?!?!" the albino haired child screamed, "THE FUCK YOU SAY???"

Kaneki ignored him and focused on getting the fuck out of there. God what the fuck was wrong with this place. He came to end his suffering and for POOLS. he had watched every episode of FREE! which made pools suddenly seem sexier. 

As he Cupid Shufffled his ass out of the park, his ex bf Hide asked, "Would you like a sticker?"

"BLOCKED!" Kaneki screamed and he got the FUCK out of there.

Meanwhile, Killua was lamenting for his papi.

"Papi... I'm sorry... He got away." Killua tugged on Tsukiyama's speedo. "Can I still get that money to pay for my next skateboard though? <3"

"K-K...K-" Tsukiyama choked on water bubbles.

"Yes, papi?"

"K- ... Kowaru..."

"Yes, papi?"

"NO"

Killua cried.

Tsukiyama stood up again. Tall and proud. Like the independent black woman he was.

"We must get Kaneki to come back. He must come back. He must join my WHOREMONY." he announced.

His fangays squealed, "PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPI~"

Then they all tackled him, and that was the last we ever saw of him because even today they are still on top of him.

Killua was still crying. He wanted a new skateboard.

As for Kaneki...

"0/10 NOT MLG WOULD NOT RECOMMEND AIDSYAMA OWNS THE POOLS and byakuya togami was there but who cares DONT GO DONT GO 0/10 0/10 0/10 0/10000000"

He left a bad review on Yelp!

Da End.


End file.
